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TLVIE

New member
thanks

yes, I do hope to meet someone I can fall in love with or have some sort of romantic relationship.
I told my therapist and recently I told one friend....so never really had support...but that was my choice..i don't want my parents knowing
it would just hurt them, and nothing can be changed now. it's in the past, I'd rather just move on :)

 

niwo

New member
Regarding

the issue of asexuality and rape-

Even though it might be a triggering subject, I think it's an important issue that we should discuss in the asexual community.
I have read on tumblr about asexuals who were raped and now define themselves as ace.
The problem is whether or not their asexuality was caused by the trauma.
I know there are some asexuals who say that they are asexuals regardless of what they have been through.
And there are asexuals who know that their assaults most probably affected their sexual orientation.
And there are some who are confused.

And I also know that there are asexuals who are afraid to say that they were sexually assaulted and as a possible result they became asexuals- because that might stigmatize the community.
And I can get them.

I think the community shouldn't avoid this subject though.
And even if we can't at this point of time discuss in public about asexuality and rape, it is an issue that should be discussed inside the community.

Now, here is the thing.
There are other people who were raped and didn't come out as asexuals
but each to its own history.
I'm following on tumblr a guy that has did (dissociative identity disorder, aka split personality) because of his abuse when he was a child.
He certainly is not an asexual, and is quite the opposite, to say the least.
Again, that's just one case I'm familiar with.

On this forum, we have stumbled upon a few asexuals who were raped in prior years and were unsure whether or not they were asexuals due to their trauma.

So, yeah, rape sure might be a cause of asexuality
and yeah, there are asexuals who were 'born' asexuals
but I don't think that really matters,
I don't really think the cause of asexuality matters here.
What matters is what you feel rn, and how you perceive your relationships.
And yeah, I am aware that sexual assaults gives one a huge hurdle in relationship, especially during intimate moments.
And I know that therapies' intent is that one would overcome these hurdles- such as being intimate with other parties.
But if you don't want it- then.......I don't really think you should do something you don't want to.
(Even if it's labelled as a PTSD issue(.

I was sexually assaulted after I defined myself as an asexual- so I guess I'm pretty sure the assaults weren't my cause to asexuality.

At any rate,
I love blabber incoherently.

I have a friend who I presume identifies as gray A or wtf asexual.
He have had sex before and enjoyed it- but he doesn't really care whether he has it in a relationship or not.
He feels weird a little bit about sex.
idk,
so what you described reminded me of him.

Oh and I know another girl who is demisexual.
 

snoopytush

New member
well said now few questions

firt questions about shortcuts in english waht does this shoetcuts mean:
idk, en?
now about the split personality guy. i don't understand so is he asexual or not?
and if he is not so why you bring him as an example?
thanks in advance
snoopy
 

niwo

New member
and answers:

idk means 'I don't know'
I use a lot of short cuts in English and that's the problem with me.
I also use lots of slang on the internet, that's why people have to find the meaning of what I wrote in Urban Dictionary on the internet.
I try to avoid that here.

About the split personality guy-
He is not asexual,
quite the contrary,
he says he's hypersexual
lets just say that he thinks about having sex 24/7.
And that's sort of a problem of his.
He is always turned on and masturbates quite a lot on a daily basis.
 

snoopytush

New member
really you

can enjoy sex?
do you feel the need for that?
i try this and find sex boring...
i don't understant how sexual people can do it
so many times
 

TLVIE

New member
I don't

feel the need for it.
but I enjoy it when I'm having it...I just don't really need it. and I could be doing something else and it would be just as much fun. yknow? I prefer kissing and cuddling to actual sex..
 

snoopytush

New member
you can enjoy both world

and still be free without the urge to go and find sex
it's good quality i think. because unlike swxual people you don't get
frustrated when there is no sex:)
 

TLVIE

New member
I live in

Tel Aviv :)

I would love to meet people. Especially since I just moved here and I don't really know many people yet
 

avi1283

New member
hey

not sure my english is much better then your Hebraw but i want to try as well :)

welcome to the forum, im glad you found us.
like k500 said the meetings are something like once every two month,
and we will be very happy if youll be there, ill try to remember to send you a message when it comes up
in the meantime feel free to ask questions and share your thoughts with us
 

TLVIE

New member
that would be

awesome. I would love to make it. :) I need to meet people in this city..haha...I'm usually stuck at home.doing very little. :)

are you guys out to your friends and family?

what is the sort of general mood regarding asexuality....is it generally accepted?
 

snoopytush

New member
my mother is asxual but she don't like this

i barely talks to my mother so it dowsnt matter/
my father don't belive in it but he don't make me hard time
so its o.k in the future i hope to find a way to become sexual
cause i find romanic onnection only with sexual people
so far... and there are other reasons i think i don't born that wat
and it's a symptoms to other deeper problem like i actualy stop
enjoy thing in life like over the years i last abiliyt to like muzic and
enjoy it fully. so i hope by get rid the asexuality i will enjoy my life like befor
but maybe i am a special case
 

Brombit

New member
Maybe you better solve the basic problem

first, and then the symptoms will disappear.
but the solution can start from the symptoms too, like "mitkhabetet7" did
I don't really know
 

Brombit

New member
...........

Mitkhabetet could do it because she felt that "her real self" is sexual. Do you feel this way?

קצת מוזר לי לכתוב באנגלית כשאני כבר מדברת עם דוברת עברית, אבל אני זורמת
 

snoopytush

New member
אני חושבת שמאז גיל ההתבגרות ועד עכשיו

חשתי בתהליך איטי של אובדן הנאה על סף אנהדוניה מדברים בחיים.
אחד הדברים שהכי בלטו זה אובדן יכולת להנות ממוזיקה לפני
8 שנים נהניתי הרבה יותר ממוזיקה.
לגבי סקס אין לי מושג כנראה שכשעשיתי את זה כבר הייתי אמינית.
בכל מקרה האמיניות פחות מפריעה לי כמו שאר הדברים שנדפקו בדרך
 

snoopytush

New member
i am working on it slowly with breaks

from time to time/
i cant solve it in a minute it's a
result of things thats a
accumulate during years.
my work on it is on the unconscious level
thats why i know that a
psychologist cant help me
cause he works with the
conscious
 

Brombit

New member
אם את מצליחה לבד, זה מצוין


לא צריך לפתור את הכל מיד
 

snoopytush

New member
לא לבד.

מצאתי שתי שיטות שיכולות להפוך אותי למינית שמאנית שלי וקינסיולוגיה.
עם המטפלת בקינסיולוגיה היה לי קצר ועשיתי דברים אחרים ( אני עוברת מדבר
לדבר חסרה לי התמדה). עם השמאנית באתי פעם בחודש הייתי אצלה 5 פעמים
עשיתי הפסקה והתחלתי לעשות כרגיל דברים אחרים כמו להתעניין בפתירת חלומות
ושבוע הבא אני חוזרת אליה.
כשיהיה לי יותר כסף ואחרי תקופה עם השמאנית אני מתכוונת לשלב קינסיולוגית או קינסיולוג
( בפעם הקודמת לא עשיתי את השיעורי בית והצטערתי על זה).
 
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