מה אתם יודעים!
- פותח הנושא Fanja
- פורסם בתאריך
תרומתי הצנועה:
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?" ---------------------------------------------------------- The math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!" -------------------------------------------------------- A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Davie, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew this. Little Davie said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!" -----------------------------------------------------
לך היה יום גרוע ?
זה עוד כלום לעומת היום (והלילה) שהיו לי (שמתם לב שלא ראו אותי בתפוז אתמול?)ובתקווה לטוב, בדיחה שקיבלתי היום:
זה עוד כלום לעומת היום (והלילה) שהיו לי (שמתם לב שלא ראו אותי בתפוז אתמול?)ובתקווה לטוב, בדיחה שקיבלתי היום:
An old Arab lives close to New York City. He would love to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure if you were here you would help me dig up the garden." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son at 3:45 pm: "Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. Love Rami". At 4:02 pm, the US Army, the Marines, the Rangers, the Police, officers from the Department of Homeland Security, the FBI and the CIA, visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they left. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son: "Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. Love Rami".
one of those jokes for a strange da
Suddenly Single Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, were curious about the latest arrival in their building; a quiet, nice - looking gentleman who kept to himself. Shirley said," Sophie, you know I'm shy. Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely." Sophie agreed, and later that day at the pool she walked up to him and said, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely." "Of course I'm lonely, he said, "I've spent the past 20 years in prison." "You're kidding! What for?" "For killing my third wife. I strangled her." "What happened to your second wife?" "I shot her." "And, if I may ask, your first wife?" "We had a fight and she fell off a building." "Oh my," said Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yelled, "Yoo hoo, Shirley! He's single!"
../images/Emo6.gif
Here's to jokes
************* The Burglar ******************************** Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
Here's to jokes
../images/Emo72.gif אני מעתיק
שוב את הבדיחה, מוצמדת לשמאל המסך (לפניה אני שותל את הקוד [תחילת קוד], ובסופה - את הקוד [סיום קוד]):
שוב את הבדיחה, מוצמדת לשמאל המסך (לפניה אני שותל את הקוד [תחילת קוד], ובסופה - את הקוד [סיום קוד]):
************* The Burglar ******************************** Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
ידינו החיות
אז הנה בדיחה קטנה, תרומתי הצנועה למצב... יום אחד החזיר מגיע לקב"ה, ושוטח כלפיו את טענותיו: "למה בראת אותי ככה? כולם מתייחסים אלי רע, הם אומרים: מלוכלך כמו חזיר, מגעיל כמו חזיר, שמן כמו חזיר, מטונף כמו חזיר, תאב-בצע כמו חזיר, זללן כמו חזיר...על מישהו מגעיל אומרים שהוא מתנהג כמו חזיר....מה כבר עשיתי שמתייחסים אלי ככה?!?" יושב וחושב הקב"ה, ולבסוף הוא אומר לחזיר: "אתה צודק, זו באמת חזירות".
אז הנה בדיחה קטנה, תרומתי הצנועה למצב... יום אחד החזיר מגיע לקב"ה, ושוטח כלפיו את טענותיו: "למה בראת אותי ככה? כולם מתייחסים אלי רע, הם אומרים: מלוכלך כמו חזיר, מגעיל כמו חזיר, שמן כמו חזיר, מטונף כמו חזיר, תאב-בצע כמו חזיר, זללן כמו חזיר...על מישהו מגעיל אומרים שהוא מתנהג כמו חזיר....מה כבר עשיתי שמתייחסים אלי ככה?!?" יושב וחושב הקב"ה, ולבסוף הוא אומר לחזיר: "אתה צודק, זו באמת חזירות".
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