מה אתם יודעים!
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TV HEALING -
TV HEALING GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WERE WATCHING A RELIGIOUS HEALING PROGRAM ON TV. THE EVANGELIST CALLED TO ALL WHO WANTED TO BE HEALED, TO PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON THE BODY PART THEY WANTED HEALED. GRANDMA HOBBLED TO THE TV AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HER ARTHRITIC HIP. GRANDPA MADE HIS WAY TO THE SET AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HIS CROTCH. GRANDMA SAID TO HIM WITH DISGUST: "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU OLD COOT. THE PURPOSE OF THIS PROGRAM IS TO HEAL THE SICK, NOT RAISE THE DEAD!" disclaimer: לא אני המצאתי. וסליחה על הקפיטלס - ככה זה הגיע באינטרנט מארה"ב ובכל פעם שניסיתי להעתיק הדף ברח. מכל מקום, זה רק בשביל ההתחלה.. יאללה.
TV Healing
TV Healing Grandma and grandpa were watching a religious healing program on TV. The Evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed. Grandma hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on her arthritic hip. Grandpa made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch. Grandma said to him with disgust: "You just don't understand, you old coot. The purpose of this program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!"
Okey, I got one too ../images/Emo41.gif
One day God was looking down on Earth and saw all of the mischievous behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the him to Earth for a time. When the angel returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95 percent are misbehaving and 5 percent are being good." God thought for a moment. "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95 percent are misbehaving and 5 percent are being good." God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5 percent that were good, and tell them how proud He was of their good behavior and efforts. Do you know what that E-mail said? No
I didn't get one either.
one more ../images/Emo41.gif
no offense , please!
no offense , please!
LAWYER A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "My God, don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!" "My God!" screamed the lawyer. (Scroll down) "Where's my ROLEX?"
מקווה לא להעליב פה אף אחד
אבל לדעתי יש כמה בדיחות משעשעות על
, וזו אחת מהן: בלונדינית נכנסת לחנות נעליים. המוכרת מראה לה כמה זוגות. הבלונדינית לוקחת נעל אחת, מסתכלת עליה בקפידה, וצועקת בהלם: "את באמת מצפה שאני אקנה את זה? הרי יש בה חור!" המוכרת: החור הוא בשביל הרגל. *** ועוד אחת:
אבל לדעתי יש כמה בדיחות משעשעות על
A snail oozes into an automobile showroom, pulls out $50,000 in crisp bills and orders a fancy red convertible. "One favor," the snail requests. "Please paint a big 'S' on each of the doors." "Sure," says the salesman, "but why would you want that?" The snail replies: "So that when my friends see me driving down the street, they can all shout, 'Look at the S car go!'
The importance of Punctuation ../images/Emo41.gif
An English professor wrote these words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is everything
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