עזרה בשיפור קטע

stav12

New member
עזרה בשיפור קטע

שלום לכולם אני צריך להגיש מחר בוק ריפורט אנא עזרו לי לתקן שגיות כתיב והגייה ולשפר את הקטע לרמה של תלמיד בכיתה ז': The story is about a young archeology named Daniel Jackson that has a theory that the Khufu's pyramid wasn't build by the Egyptians ever one didn’t agres with this theory ' after that a women from the military came to offer him a job the fined the solution to the stare gate Daniel agree and found the solution it turns out that he open a star gate he and he prepear to travel throw it with Catherine langford (the women how offered the job to Daniel) and 3 soldier and 1 commander named O'Neil I 6 am they went throw the staregate and found them self in the Khufu's pyramid Daniel and his team staretat waking anthill they found a city full of people whent the see the key that Daniel to the star gate that Daniel has on his neck they blence him and they take him and his team to a palace and being him a beautiful women and dinael gets in love the women shows denial werw he can found the stare gate he goes to the pyramid and founds Ra the king of the sun Daniel fights Ra and keild him then he showed his team the stargate and tell theam that he is planning to stay with the woman he meet they say etch adder good bay and the wallk to the stare gate The end! The has a lot of more letel storyes and it's very interesting
 

ezman

New member
הנה...

מזמן לא הייתי בכיתה ז' מקווה שזה מספיק טוב ושלא שיבשתי כלום, מה בשסוגריים זו המלצה. אם למישהו יש מה להוסיף/ לתקן בברכה.. The story is about a young archeologist named Daniel Jackson; he has a theory that the Khufu's pyramid wasn't build by the Egyptians, but everyone disagrees with this theory. After a woman from the military comes and offers him a job finding the (key) solution to the star gate, Daniel agrees. Denial finds the solution (key), and then it turns out that he opened the star gate. He prepares to travel the next day with Catherine Langford (the women how offered him the job) three other soldier and one commander named O'Neil. At 6 AM they go through the star gate and find themselves in (the) Khufu's pyramid. Daniel and his team starts waking until they find a city full of people who want to see the key to the star gate that Daniel has on his neck. they blench him and they take him and his team to a palace and bring him a beautiful women and Daniel falls in love. the women shows denial how can he find the star gate and he goes to the pyramid and finds Ra - the king of the sun- Daniel fights Ra and kills him then he shows his team the star gate and tells them that he is planning to stay with the woman he meet they say etch adder good bye and the walk to (through) the star gate.
 

ezman

New member
עוד תיקון קטן

three other soldiers ולא three other soldier מצטער מיהרתי קצת
 
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