הי, יש לי שאלה

matrixtrinity

New member
הי, יש לי שאלה

אם למישהו מתישהו יש זמן\כוח בבקשה לתקן לי את הטעויות במכתב הבא: " God brought us to life, and he made a mistake, but a mistake that he will not regret. He brought people, the sun and the moon, but he brought someone special then others, and I mean you. Every dance move you make, is been copied by me. Everytime you cry dry, I cry with tears. Every smile you make, cant be copied because it wont be the same. When youre singing, dancing and performing, you have a special lightning in your eyes, without that magic light, million of fans wont find the way without you..like me. I am happy to see that you like to do what you like to do, that’s makes you happy and me too. You are giving me inspiration; you show people the other side of life, the dance world side. Most people cant see that.. but I can! . Everytime I get hurt badly, I cry. But your voice is reverberating in my head. Your songs and dancing giving me the power and the ability to carry on, because I know that that is what I need. I didn’t think I could find the way to life. I needed a guide, so God gave me you. To show me the way full with light. And till now... Im following it. Youre a gift for all your family and fans, got down from the dark sky. You fill the world with a special flame that you have in your eyes.. a flame that no one can understand how... I cant stand when people make fun of you. They enviou in you, because you’ve got it all, and you know it. But there is something that I don’t understand, how strong you can be and youre keeping everything in your heart, that’s way you are STRONGER THEN YESTERDAY, and everyday. But no matter what they tell you. You got the strength in you, you have it all, you have been blessed with the ability to change things, to do what you like and you have talent. Don’t ever loss your faith, don’t ever stop dancing that is accelerating your soul, don’t ever stop doing that because I will loss my soul too. Like you say I was born to make you happy, but in the real world case, you were born, to make all of us, happy!! " תודה רבה!
 

dafnaleh

New member
קצת שמצאתי

כאן יש גם תיקון, וגם הצעת ניסוח קצת אחרת: "he brought someone who's more special THAN others" במקום "Every dance move you make, is been copied by me", אפשר: "every dance move you make is BEING copied by me" (למרות שגם את זה לא הייתי מנסחת ככה...), או שתהפוך את זה לזמן עבר. "you have a special lightning in your eyes" לא הייתי משתמשת בברק כ"לייטנינג" אלא כ-Sparkle. "without that magic light, million of fans wont find the way without you..like me" לא משפט מובן. הייתי כותבת: "millions of fans wouldn't have found the way", אבל גם רצוי לנסח מחדש את המשפט. ". I am happy to see that you like to do what you like to do, that’s makes you happy and me too" That makes you happy במקום that's. (וגם: and makes me happy too. לא יודעת, נשמע לי יותר נכון.) "Your songs and dancing giving me the power" your songs and dances ARE giving me... "To show me the way full with light." הייתי מוותרת על המשפט הזה. מה אתה מנסה להגיד בו? "They enviou in you" They envy you. "But there is something that I don’t understand, how strong you can be and youre keeping everything in your heart" How strong CAN you be, and how can you ... "that’s way you are STRONGER THEN YESTERDAY" That's WHY you're stronger THAN yesterday "Don’t ever loss your faith" Lose "don’t ever stop dancing that is accelerating your soul" it accelerates your soul "I will loss my soul too" lose זהו. תיקנתי רק דקדוק ושגיאות כתיב, אני מציעה לך לחשוב על ניסוחים אחרים. בהצלחה!
 

Aussie Girl

New member
נראה לי גם...

but a mistake that he will not regret would במקום will כי כל המשפט בעבר. Every dance move you make, is been copied by me is copied by me without that magic light, million of fans wont find the way without you האם הכוונה הייתה ל to you ולא ל without you ? without that magic light, million of fans wont find the way TO YOU I am happy to see that you like to do WHAT YOU DO, that makes you happy נשמע לי יותר הגיוני. Your songs and dancing ARE giving me the power and the ability to GO ON, because I know that THIS is what I need נשמע לי יותר טוב. I didn’t think I could find the way to life. I needed a guide, so God gave me you TO show me the way full OF light. And till now... I HAVE BEEN following it. Youre a gift for all your family and fans, got down from the dark sky. You fill the world with a special flame that you have in your eyes.. a flame that no one can understand בלי ה HOW בסוף.
 
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