The Tao of Oda
The Tao of Oda Asian philosophy in a nutshell. (An ancient tale that will get you by in modern China.) ********************* One cold January morning, a poor Chinese farmer named Poo-Fa, found a jar with 3, not 2 nor 4, gold coins under a rock on the edge of his field. "Three, my lucky number!" the poor farmer thought, "in my field, and on the eve of Chinese new year!". Poo-Fa didn't forget to thank Buddha, Confucius, and his ancestors, then urged back home and told his wife, "Look wife, I found these two gold coins in my field!" "With one I'm going to fill our belies with emperor class rice, and with the other I'll buy myself the most beautiful flower the eye could see". Poo-Fa then rushed to the flower shop, which was also a front for a gambling house.He showed them the coins he found, and swore in Buddha's name the jar was full with many more.He then placed a bet on 8 times the value of his coins, using his mother in law's checkbook. Poo-Fa realized that the sum was high, odds were low, and that his mother in law didn't buy herself a new dress for over 25 years, yet he wasn't worried, knowing that the number eight can only bring luck and fortune. Next he walked to the rice shop, bought a small sack of their cheapest rice, and a big jar of rice spirit, this time using his wife's check (which indeed bounce later). Happy and buzzed, Poo-Fa strolled into the local brothel, called the owner, and asked for a young, pure and innocent virgin. As she stepped in, bowing with her gentle smile, Poo-Fa nearly fainted. He handled his gold coins, went upstairs, and made love to her all night. (She was, admittedly, the most beautiful flower the eye could see.) Three (not 2 nor 4) mornings later, while Poo-Fa was in hospital treating a severe case of V.D., three (again) debt collectors came knocking on his house’s door. The thugs, sent by the rice shop, threatened to harm the poor wife and her sick old mother, if her bad check's debt will not be paid right away. Calmly, the wife invited the thugs' leader into her poor humble house. She gently closed the door behind him, and pinched him on his arm. She then yelled that it is not a behavior adequate to a local policeman, and anyhow, there’s no need of him to be so rood to his own sister, which literally brought him up, and furthermore, to his flesh and blood, sick old mom. The brother/thug/policeman begged her to stop yelling, explaining that he had to keep his face, in order to win the respect of his colleagues, and the trust of the police station chief. As there’s no way a Chinese mother will allow her only son to loose face, both ladies new that Poo-Fa’s debt had to be paid. Upset by the long distance and the chilly winds, the wife and her sick old mom were forced to walk all the way down to the field. Then, bare handed, they had to dig out of the frozen soil one more of the 88 gold coin jars, gold that they were stealing from Poo-Fa for the last 25 years, and hiding on the edges of his field. "86 is still a lucky number" mumbled old granny on their cold, long walk back, "yes" agreed her poor daughter "We should invite the Fong-Shui lady, to advice us on better hiding spots for these jars". The rice shop debt was then settled. A week has gone by, and Poo-Fa returned home. He changed his shoes into boots, and went straight to work in his rice paddy. He worked through dusk, then returned home for a warm, traditional Chinese style welcome-banquet. They all felt blessed, and didn't forget (while chewing on Poo-Fa's wife's famous chicken feet) to praise Buddha, Confucius, and thank their ancestors for curing Poo-Fa's liver indeed so remarkably fast and thorough. And indeed, left alone the fact that Poo-Fa couldn't piss straight any longer, all turned back to normal in his poor little humble house. So there you have it, with (almost) no western style confrontation, argument, conflict or ugly allegations; peace, harmony and respect were retained at Poo-Fa's home. Harmony is the oriental way. . . . . . And the gambling house bet???? Well, Poo-Fa did in fact loose that bet, but his mother in law's check went through just fine. After all, maybe the old lady was not a bragger, but she still WAS one of the three (not 2 nor 4) OWNERS of that place. <>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<> "Respect the elder" Confucius. <>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>
