SHABATH SHALOM !!!!!!
- פותח הנושא emmy5
- פורסם בתאריך
לאוהבי שוקולד
1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. 2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. 3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. 4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. 5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? 6. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? 7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. 8. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? 9. Money talks. Chocolate sings. 10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. 11.Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit. 12. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. 13. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. 2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. 3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. 4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. 5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? 6. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? 7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. 8. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? 9. Money talks. Chocolate sings. 10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. 11.Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit. 12. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. 13. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
ולהזכיר נשכחות
The Joy Of Mustard As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife who suddenly appeared at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich, when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was NOT mustard! No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'"
The Joy Of Mustard As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife who suddenly appeared at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich, when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was NOT mustard! No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'"
מחדושי המדע
My wife and her friend, Karen, were talking about their labor- saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, "I love my new garage-door opener." "I love mine too," my wife replied, and she honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
My wife and her friend, Karen, were talking about their labor- saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, "I love my new garage-door opener." "I love mine too," my wife replied, and she honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
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