Marriage and single life

SummerSpirit

New member
Marriage and single life

I saw the post below, it talked about single world and moden tech. So I was thinking about another, yet close, idea. I read some recent articles that talked about young people, 20+ years old that unlike their parents, don't hurry to get married. You probably noticed that "phenomenon" among your friends because as the article said, it's quite common. What do you think about it? Do you think that when you're in a relationship for couple of years, then it's time to get married? Do you prefer so be in a relationship but not get married?​
 

AnnabeI Lee

New member
That's actually a question I've

been considering lately. So many people are getting married around me and some of them are really quite young (22-23). It made me wonder why? Why do people need that confirmation from their government or from their religion? What makes it any different when there is a certificate that is supposed to bound you together if one can file for divorce at any point? I, personally, don't think I will be getting married. I see many people who get divorced and wonder what the validity of the "forever" really is. (I am also an anarchist, so I am not big on getting certificates from the government or organized religion...)​
 
where I currently live, a lot of

people don't bother getting officially married. You can find people who have been living for decades with their "Partners" and nobody really cares. They have children together, buy houses, do everything, but didn't go to the church or registrar to sign the marriage certificate. that brings up a more basic question: what is marriage anyway? If you're religious then you "must" get married because God orders it. But if you're not, then marriage is something you do for convenience. In Israel there's a problem with the children's legal/religious status if they're born to unmarried parents, and there's sometimes social pressure to get it formally done. But since divorce is so common and living together is so common too, why should anyone get married anyway? It's not as if the certificate is going to present any barrier to your partner if he/she wants to end the relationship or cheat on you or whatever. Personally, I married my partner when I was 26. after one year of living together, and we've been married for over five years, happy as can be. why did I do that? No special reason. we did not plan on having children at that point, we had no mortgage papers to sign and our parents didn't put any pressure. We just felt "yeah, let's get married, it's the right thing to do right now" and we did. End of story. Actually, that's not the end of the story: when we reached our five-year point, I had to propose again. She said she'll consider it, and said "yes" a few days later. I'll do it all over again in five years' time, because that's how we like our relationship. If marriage is a contract, it should be a proper contract, with exit points and renew options and the possibility of negotiating terms according to changing circumstances. Signing your life away at 22 is dumb; signing a five-year contract is, I find, a very good idea.​
 

yuval k

New member
obviously because he likes to feel

superior and to oppress the female. DUH
 

DevilGirl92

New member
Signing a five year old contract?

and what happands if wants to leave..let's say 3 years from now? She won't stay with you for another 2 years just because she commited to do that. So what's the point here? **Sorry if there are any mistakes**
 
:the point is simple

If she wants to leave in 3 years, she will, just like in a regular marriage. We're not signing anything, by the way, the entire thing is a verbal agreement, no papers and no formalities. The purpose of this is to make clear to both of us that we are not staying together because we HAVE to, but because we WANT to, and that people and relationships change. She's not the same person she was five years ago (she's much better, by the way) and I've changed, and the relationship's different, and that will continue to change, like any other marriage or person. that's life. we acknowledge that by saying "five years" to remind ourselves that we're not stuck with each other and that a relationship is something you work on, by listening to the other person (and, very importantly, to yourself), by improving communication, by truthfulness (not just "not lying" but saying what you really feel), by kindness, gentleness and understanding, and so on. If in three years' time my wife will decide I'm no longer good for her, she'll go. It's my job to be good for her. It's her job too - to be good for me, to let me know when I'm not, to settle issues and resolve them instead of keeping it inside and then bursting out and leaving - it's a joint responsibility. And the five-year period is a reminder of that: you're both here of your own free will. I've known her for over a decade now; I cannot imagine living with anyone else, or even having an affair. She says it's the same with her. I honestly wish you a partner this good. And we're good because we give each other freedom and trust. I don't want a wife who stays with me because she has to. that's a real bummer.​
 
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