Serenity From Hell
New member
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WESLEY She's either... counting oxygen molecules or analyzing the petri dish she just put into her mouth. Or sleeping. I can never quite tell. ANGEL You sure this was a good idea? WESLEY Oh, we have plenty of petri dishes.
ILLYRIA You break so easily. (Spike shakes his head and gets to his feet) Why do you bother getting back up? SPIKE Right. (panting) We need to set some ground rules. First off— (makes a wide hand-gesture signaling an invisible wall between them) no more punching me in the face. (points at her) Secondly, when I punch you in the face, you tell me how you feel so I can write that down on my clipboard. (bends to pick up his clipboard from the floor) Third—no touching my clipboard. (holds up 4 fingers) Fourth— ILLYRIA I enjoy hurting you.
WESLEY (looks down at Spike with a smirk) How goes it? ILLYRIA I've been hitting the half-breed. He makes noise. SPIKE (gets to his feet, sighs) We're off to a bit of a rough start, but don't worry. I'll break her. WESLEY She's not a horse, Spike. You know, this room is equipped with automated training devices, and you don't have to test her by just... allowing her to pummel you. SPIKE We're working on the basics. But don't worry— I'm writing it all down
CONNOR (leans forward) Um, just so you know, you guys don't have to keep pretending. I know we were there because of the van thing. FATHER Oh. MOTHER I'm sorry, honey, it's just it was— CONNOR It's cool. I mean, my parents are liars and I can never trust them again, but it's cool. Look...I know you guys are worried, but...the whole point is I'm OK. I got hit and I'm OK. That should make you happy, not like, you know... mental patients. I mean, it turned out fine.
CONNOR (gets to his feet) Oh, my God! ANGEL Connor, listen to me— CONNOR (in shock) You almost broke that guy in half! (grins) That was awesome!
CONNOR Right. Vampire. So, what are you, like 500 years old? ANGEL No, I'm about— Do I look 500?
ANGEL She's a... to be honest, I really don't know. She's some sort of ancient demon. CONNOR She have any powers? SPIKE Glad you asked. So far, I've established that she can hit like a Mack truck, selectively alter the flow of time, and, uh... (flips through pages on his clipboard) possibly talk to plants. (gives Angel the clipboard) ILLYRIA (to Angel) I'd like to keep Spike as my pet.
ANGEL Connor, this is Spike and Illyria. Guys, this is Connor. CONNOR (swinging his arms nervously at his side) Hi. (Illyria stares at him, looking up and down his body, then into his eyes) Um...I like your outfit. ILLYRIA Your body warms. (to Angel) This one is lusting after me. CONNOR Oh... no, I—I— (looks down, chuckling embarrassed) It's just that—it's the outfit. (whispers to Angel) I guess I've always had a thing for older women. ANGEL (under his breath) They were supposed to fix that. CONNOR What?
ILLYRIA You are so concerned with names, dates, times. WESLEY (weaves his way through aisles of file cabinets) Reality's being changed. ILLYRIA Define change. The world is as it is. WESLEY Not necessarily. (opens a drawer in a filing cabinet) ILLYRIA You are a summation of recollections. Each change is simply a point of experience. WESLEY (closes that drawer and opens the one below it) We are more than just memories.
ANGEL (to Connor) Shh! (to Vail) Listen, Vail, we won't be staying long. CONNOR (cuts off Angel and stands fearlessly up in Vail's face) Here's how it works. I kill this Sahjahn thing, and we walk. You come near my family again, and I'll slit your throat. (Vail touches his hand to his own throat) (thinks, then adds) And if that doesn't kill ya, I'll chop your whole head off. And if that doesn't work, I'll—I'll just keep... stabbing you till you bleed to death. (Angel looks at Connor, surprised) Understand? VAIL (nods) I do
SAHJAHN (looks around, sees Connor) Thank you, mortal, for releasing me from my cursed prison. In gratitude, I grant you 3 wishes. CONNOR Really? SAHJAHN Nah. I'm just messing with you
SAHJAHN Now, why would you want— (looks closer at Connor) Ah... you're him. CONNOR Yeah. I'm me. Hi. You can take a moment, if you want. (points to the table) There's some weapons and stuff over here if you think you'll need them. SAHJAHN Thanks.
ILLYRIA You betrayed Angel. You stole his son. He tried to kill you. WESLEY Yes. ILLYRIA Are these the memories you needed back? Does this now make you Wesley? WESLEY (nods) At least I know what happened. ILLYRIA Do you? There are 2 sets of memories—those that happened and those that are fabricated. It's hard to tell which is which. WESLEY (looks confused, shakes his head) Try to push reality out of your mind. Focus on the other memories. They were created for a reason. ILLYRIA To hide from the truth? WESLEY (looks pained, looks into Illyria's eyes) To endure it.
CONNOR (smirks) I'm not too worried about him. Nothing he can show me I haven't already seen. (Angel isn't quite sure how to take that) Anyway... I just wanted to say good-bye. I gotta go back to my life now. (walks toward the door) ANGEL (stands, nervously) Oh...do you really have to leave? I mean, right now? CONNOR I kinda think I should. I need to take care of my parents. This isn't their world. They really don't feel safe here. (looks into Angel's eyes) You gotta do what you can to protect your family. I learned that from my father.
