the passion of spike
Spike: "Passions" is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll? SPIKE: Just don't break anything. (goes to turn on the TV) And don't make a lot of noise. Passions is coming on. JOYCE: (comes forward) Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy's really dead? SPIKE: Oh! (gestures to his armchair. He and Joyce each sit on one arm) No, no, she can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for god's sake. *** Spike : I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before. (He's sitting on Willow's bed.) Willow : Maybe you were nervous. Spike : I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. *** Spike: Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding. Buffy: How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park. Spike: Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust. Buffy: Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only. Spike: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again ? you're registering as Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust. *** Spike: ?What?s this? Sitting around watching the telly while there?s evil still a foot. (Turns the TV off) That?s not very industrious of you. I say we go out there (Rubs his hands together) and kick a little demon ass! (Xander and Willow stare at him) What, can?t go without your Buffy, is that it? To chicken? Let?s find her! She is the Chosen One after all. ? Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let?s annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies ? and Christmas, right? Let?s *fight* that evil! - Let?s *kill* something! (Fade to black) Oh, come *on*!? *** SPIKE: Oh, yeah. Okay, let me guess... you won't kill me? Wooo... the wholecrowd-pleasing threats-and-swagger routine. How stunningly original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied? You know, I really hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard and I never really liked you anyway and... and you have stupid hair.