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BANNAS- The older they get, the less firm they are BANK ACCOUNT- Without a lot of money, they don´t generate much interest. And once they withdraw they lose interest BLENDERS- You need one, but you´re not quite sure why CEMENT-After getting laid, they take a long, long time to get hard CHOCOLATE BARS- Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips COFFEE-The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long COMMERCIALS-You can´t believe a word they say COMPUTERS-Hard to figure out and never have enough memory COOLERS-Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere COPIERS-You need them for reproduction, but that´s about it CURLING IRONS-They are always hot, and they´re always in your hair DEPARTMENT STORES-Their clothes should always be half off GOVERNMENT BONDS-They take way too long to mature HOROSCOPES-They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong LAVA LAMPS-Fun to look at, but not all that bright LAWN MOWERS-If you´re not pushing one around, then you´re riding it LAXATIVE-They irritate the crap out of you MASCARA-They usually run at the first sign of emotion PARKING SPOTS-The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small POPCORN-They satisfy you, but only for a little while SNOWSTORMS-You never know when he´s coming, how many inches you´ll get or how long he will last VACATIONS-They never seem to be long enough WEATHER-Nothing can be done to change either one of them