אני חלשה בלזכור בדיחות, במקום זה
אני מעבירה מייל שקבלתי , באותו נושא. אשתדל "לסכם" לעצמי את ההתרשמות מצחי בן ציון ואכתוב. > The 1st Affair > > A married man was having an affair > with his secretary. > > One day they went to her place > and made love all afternoon. > > Exhausted, they fell asleep > and woke up at 8 PM. > > The man hurriedly dressed > and told his lover to take his shoes > outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. > > He put on his shoes and drove home. > > 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. > > 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, > > 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. > We had sex all afternoon.' > > She looked down at his shoes and said: > > 'You lying bastard! > You've been playing golf!' > > > > > > The 2nd Affair > > A middle-aged couple had two beautiful > daughters but always talked about having a son. > > They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. > > The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. > > The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. > > He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. > > He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. > Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! > Have you been fooling around behind my back?' > > The wife smiled sweetly and replied: > 'No, not this time!' > > > The 3rd Affair > > A mortician was working late one night. > > He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a > startling discovery. > > Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! > > 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you > to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved > for posterity.' > > So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. > > 'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, > opening his briefcase. > > 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!' > > > The 4th Affair > > A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening > the front door. > > 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' > > She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. > > 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue..' > > 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. > > 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it > so I got one for us, too.' > > No more was said, not even when they went to bed. > > Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with > a sandwich and a beer. > > 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two > days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.' > > > The 5th Affair > > A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.. > > 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' > > 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed. > > He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and > a bottle of wine?' > > 'A nickel,' the barman replied. > > 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' > > The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' > > The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' > > The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down > here.' > > > The 6th & Best Affair > > Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. > > He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.' > > 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied. > > 'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, > your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' > > 'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.' > > > > > > > ________________________________ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Walla! Mail - Get your free unlimited mail today __________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4075 (20090514) __________ The message was checked by ESET Smart Security. http://www.eset.com __________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4075 (20090514) __________ The message was checked by ESET Smart Security. http://www.eset.com
