גלגל מפונצ'ר חוזר
ola all, as some of u know, in the last 7 months im in berlin, doing different kinda things. somethins i also have to work and from time to time im going to the local Chabad's to get some euro's for shiti job (yesterday i put CHANUKIOT and candles in boxes). to the Chabads'kers defend ill say that they know exacly what my belives and how i live but they dont say too much about that. the reason im writing about that is completely different: im not the only one who work there. beside me there is few other ppl that do this kind of things there and yesterday came someone (i think it will bee just fair to not publish his name) that recognise me. i dodnt knew who he is and when i asked where he know me from he answer HILEL. apparently, this guy left the orthodox life about 8 years ago and met me in 1 of the weekends. between all the shit that he said - he start to talk about HILEL and claim that someone from HILEL came to him in jerusalem and after awhile start to give him everything he wants to convinse him to leave the orthodox life. everything. money, place to live and even womans to hav sex with. and not only this. even 1 of the volunteers, an marvelous mature woman from jerusalem invite him to her house and stripped next to him. its long time since im not in HILEL and i dont know whats going on with this lovely person that helped (and annoy, in her special way) so many people. also this asshole got help from her and now, in his "re-born life", while he slander and spread this shit, he also remind me that i never really had the chance to say to her thanke u. so if someone in contect with ANAT NEVO - please thank her in my name and give her my love...
while im working there, between orthodox people, i cant think about how nice it could bee if i could be orthodox. how easy my life could look. without most of the things that botherd me every single day in the last years. am i right? is my belives are good? and my actions? questions of self definition, problems of existence between idea and reality. all this could be peacfully solve in occupinig myself under the rock of religion, law, hierarchy & order. but i cant. i can not accept the "kingdom" of fantsy monster. i can not give up of my thoughts, my desires and my all life just to live like a broken wash machine. somehow i learen to respect others that do believe but im cant take part in their trip. if u maanage to read till the end, cool. if not - not too bad. i just wanted to write. sorry for my lame english. its still much easy then to use the virtual keyboard. good night.
ola all, as some of u know, in the last 7 months im in berlin, doing different kinda things. somethins i also have to work and from time to time im going to the local Chabad's to get some euro's for shiti job (yesterday i put CHANUKIOT and candles in boxes). to the Chabads'kers defend ill say that they know exacly what my belives and how i live but they dont say too much about that. the reason im writing about that is completely different: im not the only one who work there. beside me there is few other ppl that do this kind of things there and yesterday came someone (i think it will bee just fair to not publish his name) that recognise me. i dodnt knew who he is and when i asked where he know me from he answer HILEL. apparently, this guy left the orthodox life about 8 years ago and met me in 1 of the weekends. between all the shit that he said - he start to talk about HILEL and claim that someone from HILEL came to him in jerusalem and after awhile start to give him everything he wants to convinse him to leave the orthodox life. everything. money, place to live and even womans to hav sex with. and not only this. even 1 of the volunteers, an marvelous mature woman from jerusalem invite him to her house and stripped next to him. its long time since im not in HILEL and i dont know whats going on with this lovely person that helped (and annoy, in her special way) so many people. also this asshole got help from her and now, in his "re-born life", while he slander and spread this shit, he also remind me that i never really had the chance to say to her thanke u. so if someone in contect with ANAT NEVO - please thank her in my name and give her my love...
