Time for another debate
My Hebrew fonts are coming soon - won't bore you with the details... But I couldn't wait. I was too curious to know what you think. Here goes: What differences - if any - do you notice between the gay community/gay life in Israel and that in the country in which you now live? I don't know whether I have been living in Holland for too long (or outside Israel in general), but I find myself often shocked by a level of prudishness and conservatism in Israeli society (in general, really, not just exclusively in gay circles - I guess it's reflected in gay society). Let me give you some examples. In Israeli lesbian forums I read a message from a woman who was in a state of shock because her mother walked into the shower and saw her naked, and she wanted to know whether anyone else has been through such trauma. My jaw dropped... Another wrote about being caught masturbating by her father 700 years ago (the father walked out again immediately and nothing more was said) and how she's still in deep trauma. Many write ashamed and ignorant about such normal and trivial sexual things. Another wrote about her sexuality, adding: "my friends know, but I wouldn't tell my family because I don't want to destroy them and I don't want them to think that I won't marry and have children". My jaw hit the ground. And I recalled occasions where Israeli female friends of mine would be too shy to undress in front of me. And I recall an occasion while waiting for the outdoor shower on a Tel Aviv beach where I warned a mixed group of young people against one of the showers, saying that the stream was so strong that I very nearly lost a nipple - they looked at me as though I'd said "I've just killed your children". And I recall writing in defence of bisexuality (the usual: it's not a choice, it's not a sex thing, blah blah...), and people always throwing back at me, "you just want to have the convenience of getting married and having kids". Fuck no! I wouldn't want that if I were straight! And I can't help but think about all the times when some great injustice - or even worse - has been done against a section of the gay community and so few dare to stand up in public and protest and demand justice. Just in case they are seen on tv. And the time when a new gay or bisexual organisation was set up (can't remember the details - the shock of the rest must have wiped them clean away), and many members didn't turn up to the opening in case they were seen in the media, and even the head of the organisation didn't use his full name. The picture I'm getting is of traditional values and prudish behaviour. And I think to myself: have I just been brought up in a much too European environment and have therefore become totally alienated from the norm in Israel? Or: was being open about your (homo/bi)sexuality in the early 80s so extreme to start with, that the only people who dared to do so, were going to be extreme and open in all their behaviours anyway? I don't know anymore. So I wanted to hear what you thought of all this. And also I want to hear the male side of things. I have heard non-Israeli men with "Israeli experiences" expressing surprise about how late some Israeli men come out of the closet (I am just telling you what they said). I have also been out on the town in Amsterdam with an Israeli man who couldn't believe how easily and openly men picked each other up in bars and clubs. Am I being confronted by freak occurences or is my impression true? If I have unintentionally offended any of you, I apologise in advance. I'm just telling it straight (or bi...) the way I see it. Please don't shoot the messenger.