Trinity 8 P
New member
Not like me but oh well../images/Emo110.gif
I slept 4 hours over the last 3 nights. I am more productive than I have ever been I'm doing even the homework that I would have, on a regular basis, considered stupid or unnecessary and it's against my ideals. It's not even for college. The Berkeley dream has gone out the window and not even because I can't get it... I can... I've come to the point where I just need to keep myself busy and avoid thinking. You’d be surprised how well school can do that. I'm writing passionately about the most boring things, trying to convince myself that I'm enjoying it; trying to romanticize staying up all night studying and spending the evenings working. But it's not romantic at all. I'm not a dedicated student I'm just taking a lot of "prestigious" class and I just really want to go to college to leave home. And I'm not a starving artist I'm just a really hungry vegan girl that AP Art made into an art machine. And is more like a vegetarian that doesn't eat eggs than a vegan who eats dairy. I wanna think of myself as a success story, came from Israel a year ago and competing for the top 5% of her grade. But I'm not a success and not story... what is 5% when your grade contains 130 people at most. And how successful can you be when all you can think of is what would you do with your brother's body after you torture him to death, and cut him into pieces. And what is success and why are you so obsessed with it? And why are you so obsessive about him? Why are you so obsessive about THE MATRIX... you did wish you could destroy the sex scene. And do u miss Israel? ummm no ... fuck Israel... do I want my brother to be killed for land? bad example... I'll do it for free ... And do u want your mom to be worried about you getting exploded? As if she is really worried anyway... And do u want to be unemployed? Ok I love America... But it's capitalist. Yeah but... And it's Republican. But Howard Dean looks pretty good And public schools suck. But I'll try to make some money and send MY 2.8 kids to a good private school in suburban San Francisco where we will live in a Shabby Sheik decorated house with big windows and red couches. Some Artsy Social Democratic, ha?... And now I think of a really good way to end this stream of consciousness but I don't have it... and the fact that I stopped typing for so long makes it not really a stream anymore. But on the other hand it was never intended to be so maybe I am a success
וואו u really got me thinking now.... hmmm now i'll go back to being my own hw machine