my new text-adventure for comments
i had enough playing old fantasy text adventures, i am trying to write a new one myself - here is the beginning , just the story line, no player missions and programming parts such a result is worth of a continuation ? Page 1- the black marzipan maker is riding again ! You were invited to the castle!,there in the royal kitchen you will produce pineapple marzipan for this years spring festival. you! a 39 years old bechelor,fourth generation for fine candy makers,and never you were honored such!.you,bitter hearted,isolated,ugly as a raven and strong as only a young lonley man may be,have to cross the land riding your small goat yirma, only an iron sword ,some dry meat and a fresh marzipan ball will share the dangerous road with you Wearing your dark traveling gown you pet yirma and whisper softly in her ears, waving your sword to keep in distance any possible robber,as you both enter the forest,to the north of your village,and take the small muddy path crossing the gloomy trees its a winter day and pale sun light the trees with soft green fire.the air is so cool and clean like you,players of this game,who live with the air pollution of the far modern centuries will never share,with me,hero of this quest going north A man wearing a black mask is blocking the road with a fencing sword in his hand.-greatings- he smiles under his mask,and points the thin vibrating sword towards yirma meee-,is all that your carrier can reply.you shiver in front of the man and can hardly speak.-my mother,how did she die? ! - asks the robber,with no visible connection to the situation you are in. he stops for a moment and than shouts in sorrow - how did she die?tell me how?.after that he answers without waiting?- -she died drinking unpasteurized goat milk!- as yirma hears that she drops you down and runs west,and her screams while being caught by a lion are horrible.(also the bone cracking sounds) see what u have done!-, you point to the robber in shame- we didn’t really need her here-,answers the robber,-we are going to have a small game of wisdom and skill now, if you win you shell live and If I win you shell live as my sidekick in the forest show I am up to every Friday 20:00 see you there we shell have Benjamin franklin as a guest!. but benj is a dead horse every text-adventure and cheap movie already used his character to dust-, you protest with sudden ambition to show your value ;-I am crazy for the kite story- answers the robber in a quiet voice as he admites in his failure,-besieds that his name is carved in the pantheon of a nation,u cant have him as a guest in a stupid legendary other time dimension talkshow of forest robbers and a famous lonely marzipan maker!-,you shout with pride. the robbers face turn serious,-u are still not in the show!,first you have to loose-,he commands -o.k,whats this all about?-,you sigh in sudden tiredness -do u know the story about the columbus egg?-,he asks the name Columbus is barely in your mind but since you were a child you like stories so listen to enjoy - in one of Columbus sails he gathered the sailors in order to ask them a riddle-,tells the forest robber seriously.-not many know that but he was not only a great explorer but also a nagging man,a master in chess and a zoophile- -columbus took a chickens egg presented it to the sailors and than let it spin and fall on its side,than he asked the sailors,does one of you able to make the egg stand and never drop down?- the different sailors tried for an hour to make the Columbus egg stand on its head,but they just couldn’t make it and the last of them finally gave up -was it possible?-,you ask eager to know the end of the small story yes-,answers the robber and handles his mask,-columbus took the egg broke its tip and in a second it stood like a pillar - but we could also do that that’s no great wisdom-,protested the sailors.-so why didnt you?-answered columbus and smiled. nice story-,you smile yourself softly, but the robber doesn’t let you hesitate and says,-lets play the game of skills now!-,he send his hand inside his silky pants and takes out a broken old egg -the original Columbus egg!-,he announce with pride- -really?!-,you ask. no -answers the robber,-sure not,that one was lost in sea if the story is not a legend at all,that’s just a walmart replica done for the 500 reaching america celebrations -oh-,you mark and try to remember what kind of something is that America at all but only benjamin franklin is up to your mind out of it - I want you to make this broken egg spin again on its both tips -,says the robber and look at you as if he knows this mission is sure impossible,neither if using dirty tricks like the Columbus guy has done in his time no problem-,you answer immediately,-just give it to me and look to the other direction for a minute.-the robber curiously turns around you may look-,you say after one minute exactly and the robber sees you spinning the egg on your head like a perfect white marble piece.he is sure amazed being bitten such way how did you do that?-,he asks as he had never seen such a miracle in his life - and what are these English letter and a smiling kid on the egg,and this string coming out of its side ? oh-,you answer,-kinder and o.b patronize this part of the game,you may take a bite robber I restored the egg using fine marzipan -
i had enough playing old fantasy text adventures, i am trying to write a new one myself - here is the beginning , just the story line, no player missions and programming parts such a result is worth of a continuation ? Page 1- the black marzipan maker is riding again ! You were invited to the castle!,there in the royal kitchen you will produce pineapple marzipan for this years spring festival. you! a 39 years old bechelor,fourth generation for fine candy makers,and never you were honored such!.you,bitter hearted,isolated,ugly as a raven and strong as only a young lonley man may be,have to cross the land riding your small goat yirma, only an iron sword ,some dry meat and a fresh marzipan ball will share the dangerous road with you Wearing your dark traveling gown you pet yirma and whisper softly in her ears, waving your sword to keep in distance any possible robber,as you both enter the forest,to the north of your village,and take the small muddy path crossing the gloomy trees its a winter day and pale sun light the trees with soft green fire.the air is so cool and clean like you,players of this game,who live with the air pollution of the far modern centuries will never share,with me,hero of this quest going north A man wearing a black mask is blocking the road with a fencing sword in his hand.-greatings- he smiles under his mask,and points the thin vibrating sword towards yirma meee-,is all that your carrier can reply.you shiver in front of the man and can hardly speak.-my mother,how did she die? ! - asks the robber,with no visible connection to the situation you are in. he stops for a moment and than shouts in sorrow - how did she die?tell me how?.after that he answers without waiting?- -she died drinking unpasteurized goat milk!- as yirma hears that she drops you down and runs west,and her screams while being caught by a lion are horrible.(also the bone cracking sounds) see what u have done!-, you point to the robber in shame- we didn’t really need her here-,answers the robber,-we are going to have a small game of wisdom and skill now, if you win you shell live and If I win you shell live as my sidekick in the forest show I am up to every Friday 20:00 see you there we shell have Benjamin franklin as a guest!. but benj is a dead horse every text-adventure and cheap movie already used his character to dust-, you protest with sudden ambition to show your value ;-I am crazy for the kite story- answers the robber in a quiet voice as he admites in his failure,-besieds that his name is carved in the pantheon of a nation,u cant have him as a guest in a stupid legendary other time dimension talkshow of forest robbers and a famous lonely marzipan maker!-,you shout with pride. the robbers face turn serious,-u are still not in the show!,first you have to loose-,he commands -o.k,whats this all about?-,you sigh in sudden tiredness -do u know the story about the columbus egg?-,he asks the name Columbus is barely in your mind but since you were a child you like stories so listen to enjoy - in one of Columbus sails he gathered the sailors in order to ask them a riddle-,tells the forest robber seriously.-not many know that but he was not only a great explorer but also a nagging man,a master in chess and a zoophile- -columbus took a chickens egg presented it to the sailors and than let it spin and fall on its side,than he asked the sailors,does one of you able to make the egg stand and never drop down?- the different sailors tried for an hour to make the Columbus egg stand on its head,but they just couldn’t make it and the last of them finally gave up -was it possible?-,you ask eager to know the end of the small story yes-,answers the robber and handles his mask,-columbus took the egg broke its tip and in a second it stood like a pillar - but we could also do that that’s no great wisdom-,protested the sailors.-so why didnt you?-answered columbus and smiled. nice story-,you smile yourself softly, but the robber doesn’t let you hesitate and says,-lets play the game of skills now!-,he send his hand inside his silky pants and takes out a broken old egg -the original Columbus egg!-,he announce with pride- -really?!-,you ask. no -answers the robber,-sure not,that one was lost in sea if the story is not a legend at all,that’s just a walmart replica done for the 500 reaching america celebrations -oh-,you mark and try to remember what kind of something is that America at all but only benjamin franklin is up to your mind out of it - I want you to make this broken egg spin again on its both tips -,says the robber and look at you as if he knows this mission is sure impossible,neither if using dirty tricks like the Columbus guy has done in his time no problem-,you answer immediately,-just give it to me and look to the other direction for a minute.-the robber curiously turns around you may look-,you say after one minute exactly and the robber sees you spinning the egg on your head like a perfect white marble piece.he is sure amazed being bitten such way how did you do that?-,he asks as he had never seen such a miracle in his life - and what are these English letter and a smiling kid on the egg,and this string coming out of its side ? oh-,you answer,-kinder and o.b patronize this part of the game,you may take a bite robber I restored the egg using fine marzipan -