תקראו את זה, זה ענק!../images/Emo6.gif../images/Emo54.gif
אם יש לכם כוח לקרוא הכל, זה ממש ממש מצחיק, אבל אני לא הולכת לתרגם את זה! אז זהו. איך לגרום לאלן ריקמן לשים לב אליכם??? 1. Ask Alan Rickman to autograph a body part. 2. Follow him around town like a crazed fan. Finally ask him, "Are you really Alan Rickman?" When he says yes, say, "Oh, I thought you were someone else," and walk away. 3. Tell him how sexy his pinky finger is. 4. Pinch his butt. Then act like he pinched you. 5. Run after him screaming, "Daddy!" 6. Walk up to him with a huge chemistry textbook and say, "Professor Snape? Can you please help me with my Potions homework?" 7. Instead of asking him to autograph a picture or DVD, ask him to autograph a sanitary napkin. (Hee hee hee...) 8. Ask him, "Can I smell your underwear?" (If any one of you actually does this, please let me know the full details of the ensuing conversation!) 9. While Alan is in his limo, pretend your a windshield cleaner. When the limo hits a red light, squeegee the windows and refuse to leave. 10. During a (preferably serious) play, hold up a sign that says, "Give Us A Real Show, Alan! Strip For Us!" 11. Give him flowers. Dead flowers. 12. Stare at his balls and tell him how gorgeous his eyes are. 13. Throw marshmallows onto the stage. 14. Look at him for a very long time, then say, "No offense sir, but you look like that one really ugly actor from Die Hard. What's his name? Oh yeah, Alan Rickman." 15. Ask him where babies come from. Have a notebook in hand to take notes! 16. Point at him and laugh uncontrollably. 17. Walk up to him, stare at him, and say spookily, "I just saw a vision of my own death..." 18. Get a friend. You pull one of Alan's arms while your friend pulls the other, and start singing "The Boy Is Mine." 19. Make a beautifully packaged gift basket and present it to him after a play. Inside, include condoms, can openers, floppy discs, used tissues, and other random junk you can find. 20. Kneel at his feet, start bowing and chanting, "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Then stop, give a good look at him, and say, "Oh, I thought you were someone else." 21. Stand next to Alan. When someone else goes up to him for an autograph, say in a nonchalant voice, "He's my daddy, you know." 22. Dress like a nun, and pinch his butt! 23. Instead of throwing flowers onstage, throw little boxes of Rogaine. 24. After the play, go up to Alan and say, "Did you see that guy up there, that Alan guy? He was so pathetic and he can't act at all!" 25. Ask him where he keeps his toilet paper. 26. Walk up to him. Poke him on the nose like how Alanis Morrisette pokes Bethany on the nose in Dogma. 27. Pretend to be pregnant. Go up to him and scream, while pointing to your stomach, "How could you?" (This works best when lots of people are around!) 28. Scream profanities at him. (Um...) 29. Gather together a huge book of NC-17 Snape fanfics from online, with all possible pairings. Send it to him. 30. Ask him, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" 31. Walk up to him and ask him, "Where is the bathroom?" 32. Smear your hands in Krazy Glue. Then shake hands with Alan! That'll keep you two together for a while. 33. Get cosmetic surgery to look like Rima! 34. Tell him that he is like an M&M. He melts in your mouth, and not in your hand. 35. Ask him, "Does my pants make my butt look big?" 36. Bring a huge poster of Ian McKellen to the play and ask him to sign it. 37. If you see him walking down the street, go up to him and whisper in his ear, "I'm going to kill you and send you down the garbage disposal." Then when he looks at you, gasp and say, "I'm so sorry sir! For a moment I thought you were that actor, Alan Rickman!" 38. Go up to him really close and shove ice cubes down his pants! 39. During the middle of the play when Alan is onstage, scream, "Where's Alan Rickman! And who is this ugly fraud!" 40. Ask him for a kiss. Then stick your tongue in his mouth. (Yummy.) 41. Ask him for a picture. Then use one of those camera squirt toys and squirt water in his face. 42. While he's outside of the theater signing autographs, stick a note on his back that says, "I eat animals and small children," or other similarly witty catchphrase. 43. Wait a long time to get his autograph... then go up to him and ask him if he's got change for a nickel. 44. Blow your nose on his shirt. 45. Wet your hands at the sink. Then pretend to sneeze in his face, shaking the water from your hands onto his face. (It feels like someone really sneezed at you! Totally gross.) 46. Buy him a mini skirt. 47. Kick him in the nuts. Offer to kiss them to make them feel better. 48. Gush on and on about how much you absolutely loved him in Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars, and other movies he wasn't a part of. 49. Crash your car with his and then you'll have to exchange addresses for insurance reasons. 50. During a play, laugh loudly at random places. 51. Make funny faces at him during a play. 52. Eat lots of garlic and tomatoes (like in Closet Land) and kiss him. 53. Dress like a man, and accuse him of stealing Rima. 54. Look at him really closely, then turn to your friend and say, "I told you his hair isn't real. You owe me ten bucks."
