יא חתיכת
You post in a way that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. Rumor has it that you are almost incomprehensible in person (as revealed by your desperate urge to babble nonsensically on message boards.) No doubt, this rumor is true. I used to think that you were a gibbering idiot. Now, after reading your latest post, I have a much lower opinion of you. You wouldn't know Up from Down if you had three guesses. Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live." You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. What do you do for a living? You are living, aren't you? If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you didn't have an intellect rivaled only by the Village Idiot's stupider brother; if your weren't so fat that your local 'All-You-Can-Eat' buffet had to install speed bumps, or if you didn't have a face that could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck. Who am I kidding? You would. You're a message board freak. I know it's hard to accept the truth, but the truth it is, and accept it, you must.