If I may, strength and courage. pls
Dear Jony/Dr.Rashpon (hope the spelling is correct If I may in english would be easier for me. I do need support not sure from where, confused a bit, as well as my emotional distress. I am a 46 yr old male, from central Israel. I have checked myself approx 3 yrs ago and was HIV negative., however, during the past 2 yrs I have met a woman, and we had unprotected sex. About 1+ month ago i have started to have a rash upon my face, forehead and nose. I was told it was "seborrheic dermatitis" perhaps from stress or other unknown reason. After looking up this dermatitis issue on the internet I read that 85% of people with HIV get facial seborrheic. Now I am 3 weeks into the rash and my facial symptoms are much better, but not gone. I now have tenderness and pain in my lymph glands of the neck, with a slight cold, and fever of 37.1, i have also noticed (or maybe my imagination) loss of hair I know and realize I should do a test, BUT.., I so fear the possibility of a positive HIV result, I am prevented to even go and get tested. I fear I may perhaps jump off the roof or some other harsh emotional reaction, if indeed i am infected. Is there any immediate support that I can find, upon receiving if so, a positive result? such as psychologist, or social worker, or sedative drug to calm me down. I am not suicidal but I do fear deeply, my reactions, already being with extreme low self esteem, remorse, guilt and depressive outlook of life.. I wish to extend many warm thanks, to Jony, and his wonderful work, also to Dr. Rashpon for his warm medical insights. God bless.
Dear Jony/Dr.Rashpon (hope the spelling is correct If I may in english would be easier for me. I do need support not sure from where, confused a bit, as well as my emotional distress. I am a 46 yr old male, from central Israel. I have checked myself approx 3 yrs ago and was HIV negative., however, during the past 2 yrs I have met a woman, and we had unprotected sex. About 1+ month ago i have started to have a rash upon my face, forehead and nose. I was told it was "seborrheic dermatitis" perhaps from stress or other unknown reason. After looking up this dermatitis issue on the internet I read that 85% of people with HIV get facial seborrheic. Now I am 3 weeks into the rash and my facial symptoms are much better, but not gone. I now have tenderness and pain in my lymph glands of the neck, with a slight cold, and fever of 37.1, i have also noticed (or maybe my imagination) loss of hair I know and realize I should do a test, BUT.., I so fear the possibility of a positive HIV result, I am prevented to even go and get tested. I fear I may perhaps jump off the roof or some other harsh emotional reaction, if indeed i am infected. Is there any immediate support that I can find, upon receiving if so, a positive result? such as psychologist, or social worker, or sedative drug to calm me down. I am not suicidal but I do fear deeply, my reactions, already being with extreme low self esteem, remorse, guilt and depressive outlook of life.. I wish to extend many warm thanks, to Jony, and his wonderful work, also to Dr. Rashpon for his warm medical insights. God bless.