אוריקוש1002
New member
I want to perform a creation
that i've wrote in English. here: He saw her lying happily on her blood. Naked and contented, while her hands were spread, touching at her torn filthy clothes that damped to the side, and her mouth was opened at a frighten emptiness. He could notice in her face a little spark of smile, some feeling of salvation and freedom, but with that a terrible anxiety. She was choked and less vitality – he could testify it when his eyes were closed. The sight was terrified. She was his doter, his only little doter. Eleven years old, total. Since eight years, less or more, he hasn't seen her like this, and now, in a way so disgusting and repulsive, right next to him, he speedily turned a blind eye. He couldn't keep watching it. Angrily he turned away, and didn't believe to nothing. Who could do that to my doter, who's the despicable, who?! Blood, blood has flowed from every place, especially from her veins, some way, but from her heart too. The liquid was empting out, and filled the all space of the big room, while her face became purple, and after that, white. On her body were shown signs of a hard attack, but she returned war, it was clear. He saw in a far corner in the room, that near to exit of the room, some tiny drops of blood. But even if she has succeeded to hurt her enemy, it won't be useful. She was stricken, probably, knifed and hurt. Suddenly all became clear. "Nooo", he screamed, and felt how his heart starting to die in seconds, how he too going to enjoy his miserable doter and help her to adapt her new home. He continued to step some liming steps, and landed exactly next to her, on them blood puddle. The blood was strength sprayed to every place, and dirtied the expensive furniture. He scrawled after while and getting closer to her. He held her hand, kissed it, and died. I hope it's correct grammery, and i would like to hear some responses. with thanks, Ori. (By the way, i am new in this forum)...
that i've wrote in English. here: He saw her lying happily on her blood. Naked and contented, while her hands were spread, touching at her torn filthy clothes that damped to the side, and her mouth was opened at a frighten emptiness. He could notice in her face a little spark of smile, some feeling of salvation and freedom, but with that a terrible anxiety. She was choked and less vitality – he could testify it when his eyes were closed. The sight was terrified. She was his doter, his only little doter. Eleven years old, total. Since eight years, less or more, he hasn't seen her like this, and now, in a way so disgusting and repulsive, right next to him, he speedily turned a blind eye. He couldn't keep watching it. Angrily he turned away, and didn't believe to nothing. Who could do that to my doter, who's the despicable, who?! Blood, blood has flowed from every place, especially from her veins, some way, but from her heart too. The liquid was empting out, and filled the all space of the big room, while her face became purple, and after that, white. On her body were shown signs of a hard attack, but she returned war, it was clear. He saw in a far corner in the room, that near to exit of the room, some tiny drops of blood. But even if she has succeeded to hurt her enemy, it won't be useful. She was stricken, probably, knifed and hurt. Suddenly all became clear. "Nooo", he screamed, and felt how his heart starting to die in seconds, how he too going to enjoy his miserable doter and help her to adapt her new home. He continued to step some liming steps, and landed exactly next to her, on them blood puddle. The blood was strength sprayed to every place, and dirtied the expensive furniture. He scrawled after while and getting closer to her. He held her hand, kissed it, and died. I hope it's correct grammery, and i would like to hear some responses. with thanks, Ori. (By the way, i am new in this forum)...