Charlie Chaplin

Cindy Campbell

New member
Charlie Chaplin

I was asked to write a mini- biography in English about a person who has made a difference in the history of the world, and I chose to write about Charlie Chaplin. I wanted to ask you to read my essay and tell me what you think about it. Ideas for improvements and constructive criticism will be welcome with a smile
. Thank you very much!
Here's the essay: I have chosen to write about Charlie Chaplin. Can one person make a difference? Many of us have heard about “The tramp”, or laughed while watching “The gold rush” or “City lights”, but how much do we really know about the person who created them? Our story begins at April 16, 1889, the day in which one of the greatest actors and directors of all times was born. Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin Jr. was born to a couple of comedians in London, England. His childhood was rough- Growing as a sick child with a mentally ill mother and a drunk father, moving from one orphanage to another, and suffering the pain of the parents’ death. Despite all this pain, Charlie’s talent was revealed already at a young age. His first appearance on stage was at the age of 5 only, and that was just the beginning… Years later, Chaplin joined the famous group “Fred Karno’s Army” and even managed to get the attention of a known comedies producer- Mack Sennett. After signing Chaplin on a record with a producing company, it hasn’t been too long until little Charlie became a star at the silent movie field: He developed the successful and famous character of “The tramp”, became a director, a scriptwriter and an editor and received a dreamy payment of $10,000! However, even though Chaplin could choose to leave the field and lose his specialty, he decided to go on a different path. Chaplin kept making silent movies even after the creation of cinema, and his first dialogue picture (“The great dictator”) came out in 1940. In 1972 Chaplin received an Oscar award, and 3 years later he was even crowned as the knight of the British empire by queen Elizabeth II. As I see it, Charlie Chaplin was a fascinating, one of a kind personality. He didn’t make his movies just to entertain people, but also to teach valuable lessons and express his opinions. He devoted himself to his work completely and was blessed with skills of directing, writing, editing, composing, producing, etc. Directors of comedies still look up at Chaplin, even though he passed away 30 years ago. I think that the fact he managed to do such brilliant work after growing up in such hard conditions is mind blowing. In conclusion, I don’t think that this intelligent, hard working, unique person is going to disappear from our world so soon. Charlie Chaplin died 30 years ago, but I know for sure he’ll be remembered for the next 300 years.​
 

eietmo

New member
looks great

some suggestions: don't use I: As I see it,"...you can just delet this part, as we've been told in english class, using "I" often "weakens your argument (because it makes the reader see things as an opinion rather than a stated "fact") . no etc. my mom is a hebrew teacher (and a writer
) and she says that you should never use it in an essay. Instead, try to make it sound like he did more than just what you said("directing, writing, editing, composing, producing"). Try using ", was blessed with a myruad of skills, including... NEVER use "In conclusion" just write w/e comes afterwords without the in conclusion i'd change the last sentence. have a great day
 
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