חדשה פה :)

Divine Rose

New member
אני נשבעת!

אני לא כותבת סמאט! זו סצנה רלוונטית לעלילה!! אפילו שקיבלתי מכתבים זועמים על זה מכמה קוראים תמימים
 

5ifi

New member
מאמינה לך.

אני בפרק שני, יאיי מי! אבל איבדתי את הקישור... רוצה לשלוח שוב?
 

y a m i girl

New member
שאני אבין|מדוזה|../images/Emo82.gif

אם זה פאנפיק על מערכת יחסים, למה שלא יהיה רלוונטי לכתוב בו סמאט? את לא צריכה להצטדק כ"כ
או שרק אני חושבת ככה? אמג, כנראה שאני ממש לא בסדרXD
 

Divine Rose

New member
אני מסכימה איתך

רוב האנשים דווקא אהבו גם את הסצנה הזו, פשוט נתקלתי ב1-2 שממש נבהלו ואמרו שהתעללתי בקורט יותר מדיי
 

Ayelet 363

New member
תודה על ההסברים ../images/Emo13.gif

מסתבר שהבעיה הייתה בכינוי שניסיתי להירשם איתו ולא הבנתי את זה אפילו
בהתחלה היה רווח, ואחרי זה ניסיתי גם _ ולא הבנתי שגם זה לא טוב (נרשמתי לפני שראיתי את ההודעה). אה, ואני גם קצת בעייתית עם NC-17.
אז אשמח לגרסה מצונזרת.
 

Divine Rose

New member
לא מצליחה לשלוח ../images/Emo2.gif

"חלה שגיאה בעת שליחת המסר. אנא פנה להנהלת תפוז" Klaine:pUT censored version p3 by ~GoldenHarp Klaine- Picture us together Chapter 3 – "Dad, I'm home" Kurt said monotonously and ran up the stairs to his room without even waiting for an answer. Burt glared at his son and saw a desperate Kurt. He looked so pale as if all his blood was sucked out of him. To his dismay, Kurt bumped into Finn on his way up the stairs. "Hey dude, what's going on with you?" Finn inquired "Sorry Finn, I'd rather be left alone right now" he started whispering heavily and started weeping. Kurt entered his room, while Finn kept staring at him, trying to guess what happened. He decided not to leave him alone in his distress just yet. "Um Kurt, you want me to get you a glass of water?" No response. As Finn came back upstairs from the kitchen he opened Kurt's room's door and cautiously put a full glass on a small shelf. "Look, I'm not gonna push you into anything, but just wanted you to know I'll be in my room if you do want to spill it out" he mumbled. Finn rushed to explain himself "If someone hurt your feelings, don't keep it inside, O.K?" Finn smiled at him and then had a terrible flashback to last year: While taking out books from his locker, Kurt suddenly ran into him and began talking about stuff he really didn't care about like style and shoes, like he's trying too hard to impress. And the worst part: Finn could not help but to notice the dreamy look smeared on his eyes… 'Oh no' Finn had a terrible fear from Kurt being again obsessively in love with him (as he is obsessive with almost everything), the last thing he wanted right now was Kurt getting the wrong idea from his attention. 'I better go check on Quinn…this could make my day a little nicer' he thought to himself and left the house Kurt didn't want to spend another second crying on his pillow, although Blaine's word's depressed him. He wanted Blaine to look at him as sexy and manly and didn't like the idea of 'the mentor and the kid' relationship. He'd seen so many movies about such relationships and they never ended up in snuggling. His mom came to his mind after a series of failure-depressing thoughts 'Mom, you knew what it is like, this true love thing, huh? Dad loved you so badly… you must've experienced such feeling. What to do mom? How am I supposed to change Blaine's behavior?' 'Who cares about that' a voice that didn't sound motherly popped in his head 'you made a move on him and the asshole didn't respond as you've expected, so move on!' "I'm moving on!" he answered the voice and repeated the words in his head as a mantra. He picked up his phone and called Rachel "how 'bout another girl's night?" "Oh, I'd love to!" Rachel replied without second thoughts "I'll tell Mercedes to come too, O.K?" "Yeah, sure. The more the better. Just keep in mind that Finn will be here too" "Um, I don't mind. I'm coming to see you, not him" she laughed. "You're totally over him, huh?" "Kind of. I'm more like, seeking new options for me. Maybe Finn's simply not the one" "Too bad. I just started liking you as a couple" "So… How 'bout you and great-lips?" she implied. "What?" Kurt sounded annoyed "You know I'm talking about Blaine" "I never kissed him so that wasn't the association that popped in my mind" he tried to explain. "Kurt. It's somehow doesn't make sense to me that you two haven't. Well that's how I'll fit in the picture. Berry's matchmaking office at your service!" Rachel was more excited than ever. "Tomorrow at seven, don't forget!" he reminded her at the end of the conversation, just before hanging up. He lied back on his bed thinking what to do for the rest of the evening. He didn't feel like going out for a walk and didn't even have the right mood for shopping. Kurt decided to go to bed early, he was obviously thinking too much. But at least he was aware of that. In the next morning Kurt sat in a different place in the left corner of the front row, and tried not to look into Blaine's direction. He did his best to stay concentrated on the lesson, but his thoughts were focused on the best way to conquer Blaine. He imagined himself walking with another tall sexy looking guy at the mall, holding hands and smirking at each other while Blaine was spying after them curiously, dying to know if they're on a date. His extreme imaginations caused him to smile unknowingly. 'What's he so happy about?' Blaine thought immediately 'Oh I just wish he could have been a little bit more mature. Literally.' 'Did Blaine just look at me? Shoot! I can't believe I wasn't focused enough to catch him red-handed' he started drawing in his notebook since he couldn't write anything. Well, He'll figure out something, Rachel will probably know how to help him this afternoon. After school, Kurt didn't want his intentions discovered so he avoided Blaine as much as possible. As the bell rang, he packed all of his stuff and rushed outside the classroom. He ran quickly as if he's running late for something, evasively ignoring the man he loves. Blaine stared at Kurt's from the top of the staircase as the young boy disappeared. 'What's going on with him today? Not even making eye contact with me. Now that's weird. He IS going through something, I can see for sure' Kurt had a 'temporary solution' for his loneliness, every time he didn't want to be seen alone between (or even after) classes, he went to hide in the last room of the first floor corridor, just near the basement stairs. It used to be the chess club's room, but the club ceased to exist last year so he made it his hideout: Big, cozy and lockable from the inside… He entered the deserted room, locked the door from inside and lit up the fireplace. Kurt picked up the Patti LuPone biography from his schoolbag and sat on the large red sofa. He finally felt that he's starting to relax. *** In that evening, All Kinds of nail polish was scattered on Kurt's large bed : pink, white, green and yellow,shiney colors that made him happy. He just loved to plan in advance what style to match both of the girls. Not to mention that Rachel's nails were always fun to work on: they were long and strong and he could attempt whatever was on his imagination. "O.K. Mercedes…" he said as he passed on to her nails "Are you dating someone now?" Mercedes could tell from the look on his face that he was truly interested. "There was this senior guy, Ross" but we actually broke up just after you left us" she said shyly. "Oh, you know you deserve better than him girl!" he cheered her. "Yeah. I agree" Rachel supported. "Rachel" Kurt slowed down his pace as it was clear what he's about to say "are you still…?" he pointed at the door of his room. "I'm not into him anymore" she replied immediately "I'm really not!" she insisted "I'm starting t
 

Ayelet 363

New member
תודה! ד"א- הפרק קטוע?

או שזה רק המשפט האחרון? בכל אופן- תודה רבה!!
אהבתי!
 

Divine Rose

New member
תודה!

מקווה שתאהבי גם את 4 ו-5! וזה לא קטוע, רק חתכתי את התיאורים שהיו באמצע :) ד"א את גם כותבת?
 

Ayelet 363

New member
אהבתי גם אותם! ../images/Emo13.gif

נכנסתי דרך הקישור בפאנפיקשן.נט... לא, אני לא כותבת. יש לי בעיה של חוסר השראה... אחרת הייתי כותבת בטח מלא.
 

Divine Rose

New member
אה, קראת מהר :)

גם פרק 6 גמור, הוא פשוט תקוע אצל הבטא שלי כבר יותר מחודש
ואין דבר כזה חוסר השראה! ניסית פעם לכתוב ולראות מה קורה?? הרבה פעמים אתה לא יודע על מה אתה הולך לכתוב ויוצא מזה משהו מעניין!
 

Ayelet 363

New member
ניסיתי לכתוב ולראות מה קורה

זה היה מעצבן... וגם הרבה פעמים יש לי התחלה וסוף ואין לי אמצע, ואז אני מנסה להשיג אמצע כל כך חזק עד שהוא משנ האת הסוף (זה יכול להיות לטובה, אבל אצלי זה לרעה... אפילו יש סיפור קצר שכתבתי לפני שנים שאני חושבת שבנקודה מסויימת את יכולה להרגיש שהיה שינוי כזה בעלילה. ממש אפשר לראות את זה...).
 

Divine Rose

New member
זה קורה לכולם

שפתאום העלילה/הסוף משתנים. זה לא אמור למנוע ממך לכתוב! בד"כ אם משהו בעלילה משתנה זה נובע מכך שהוא לא התאים מספיק לעלילה. רוצה שאני אקרא את הסיפור שלך?
 

Ayelet 363

New member
כן, אבל הרבה פעמים החלק שאני הכי אוהבת

זה הסוף שתכננתי. והעלילה משתנה לרעה. אין בעיה אם העלילה משתנה כשזה זורם, אבל אני מנסה לדחוף את הכתיבה בכוונה כדיי להגיע לקטעים שאני רוצה... אז זה גרם יוצא גרוע וגם לא מגיע לקטעים האלה. זה סיפור ישן, אני רוצה לשכוח ממנו... כרגע אין משהו שאני כותבת (האמת שיש לי רעיון לפאנפיק- לא של גלי- אבל לא נראה לי שאכתוב אותו. הוא גם לא יעניין את רוב האנשים... פאנדום לא פופולרי, סוג כתיבה קצת שונה...).
 

Divine Rose

New member
לדעתי

אם יש לו פוטנציאל להיות סיפור טוב, אל תוותרי עליו. אני למשל מסמנת באדום קטעים שאני לא אוהבת ובכחול קטעים שאני כן אוהבת, ואז מנסה לחבר את כל הכחולים ביחד למשהו הגיוני :) בכל מקרה אל תפסיקי לכתוב, בייחוד אם את נהנית מזה
 
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